BY SEAN CLARK

[Find previous installments of JABBIC here. You can suggest covers we should use by emailing us here.]

Four of our contributors guessed the premise of Pittacus Lore’s I Am Number Four with only this cover image available to them. Now it’s up to you: which paragraph below is based on the real novel? The answer, and who wrote which fakery, will be posted in the comments later today.

1.) Six unnamed teens awaken to an underground lab with no memory of their capture. Directed by the whims of IamSeven, the robotic voice emanating from a circular screen, they must work together to escape or face destruction. One of the unlucky prisoners vanishes every day, and Number Four’s time is running short.

2.) In a world where food is a scarce necessity and starvation is commonplace, an Odinic vegetarian wanderer named Burt must make an impossible decision.  With his 3 companions dead by their own hands and the ruling families’ lead bounty hunter on his trail, Burt is deathly afraid and immeasurably ravenous.  Given the choice between a fate worse than death and feasting on the bodies of his seemingly delicious comrades, Burt must think fast or die.   An amazingly deep first novel by first time writer Pittacus Lore, I Am Number Four probes the depths of the human psyche and asks the question, “Are we what we eat?”

3.) The aliens came from the sun. Four of them, but only one survived the trip. When a young teen finds and nurses to health the solar traveller, he thinks he has found a friend from out of this world. Soon he learns the being he’s nursed back to health wants only one thing: to facilitate the enslavement of the human race.

4.) A string of bizarre occurrences has left a small Kansas town confused and scared. Crop circles and livestock mutilations are one thing, but soon citizens, all children, begin to disappear. Marissa is the fourth child to vanish from her bed in the middle of the night. She wakes up on a seemingly abandoned alien spaceship, with a glowing symbol emanating from her chest, the other stolen children lay dead around her, branded with the same symbol. Stranded alone in space, Marissa determines to find a way home.

5.) John has just arrived in Paradise, Ohio, just another stop in a string of small towns where the 15-year-old has been hiding out from terrifying aliens who are hellbent on destroying him and eight other special children. The evil aliens are picking off the surviving kids in numerical order. The first three are dead and John’s number is up. Will he develop super powers in time for him to fight against the enemy? The battle for Earth is on and there’s a new kid in town!

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