BY SEAN CLARK
For this round of Judge a Book by Its Cover, we’ve selected Lanceheim by Tim Davys. Only one of the summaries below is real, the others have been written by our contributors, with only the cover image to go by. See if you can guess which is the true summary of this upcoming novel.
The answer (and who wrote which fakery) will be posted in the comments later today.
1.) After his conversion in prison, the Big Bad Wolf sets out to preach the word of the Gospels that changed his life. But on the outside, his baser nature begins to reassert itself. He finds temptation everywhere in the wilderness of the outside world. He is forced to confront the misdeeds of his past while he learns to walk the paths of enlightenment all over again.
2.) Jane and Dennis Whippoorwill are brilliant behavioral psychologist out to prove that religion is a needless social construct. To rebut their many detractors, the two have experimentally raised their son, Daniel, as a follower of a made-up theology–that of the Great Fox, Lanceheim. Jane and Dennis believe that once the elementary aged Daniel expresses his beliefs, he will be ridiculed and quickly discard his God. They don’t anticipate that Daniel will have the fortitude and charisma of a prophet, and garner a cult-like following.
3.) Peering out his window early one Saturday morning Ralph, a young German boy, finds himself eye to eye with an enormous,smiling cat. The cat takes a bow and introduces himself as the Amazing Mr. Milo. Over time the cat becomes Ralph’s best friend and most trusted confidante. Mr. Milo’s even teaches Ralph several of his favorite tricks. At first Ralph is pleased with his secret playmate and their complex, extraordinary games. However, the boy’s life is threatened as he grows closer to the cat and the rules abruptly change.
4.) In a world populated by stuffed animals, composer Reuben Walrus is weeks away from finishing his new symphonic opus when he discovers that his irreversible hearing loss will be total before he can complete the task. His only hope is to seek the aid of Maximilian, a parable-spouting sage whose growing cult of followers has so alarmed authorities and deacons of the world’s orthodox church that they have driven him underground. Reuben must cope with his affliction, and the life, times, and persecution of the enigmatic Maximilian.
5.) Roger Lupin is fascinated with wolves. He talks about them constantly, always chooses them as a topic for school projects, dreams about them nightly. When a full moon opens a shimmering door in the night sky outside his bedroom window, Roger finds himself transported to Lanceheim, a world much like his own–except instead of people it’s populated by anthropomorphic wolves. At first mesmerized, Roger soon realizes finding a way home before becoming a meal to zealous wolves who make eating little boys a religious rite might not be so easy.